[Verse 1]
When your walls go up, I hope that they're mirrored
So you can serve your sentence with somebody sympathetic
Darlin' you're a hack, but it's charming when you crack yourself up
But everybody knows what you go to to keep yourself together

Alone at the end of the day
Sync your thoughts with the highway song
Fall asleep with the T.V. on

[Chorus 1]
Sylvia, you know, I just want to stay close to you
Oh no, there you go again
Sylvia, my love, there is just so much I can do for you
After all, I'm just a friend

[Verse 2]
It's a shame, nowadays all your friends have become such a drag
They make you feel like a running gag
Sylvia's just a dying fad
Your mind's at a fever pitch, temperature's rising
Those ghosts in the rearview are so tantalizing

[Chorus 2]
Sylvia, you say that “the moon is your only friend
But she's a bitch and she don't listen when you cry”
Sylvia, my love, there is just so much I can do for you
After all, I'm just a friend