[Intro: Manila Luzon, Peppermint, and Alaska Thunderfuck]
Gurl, I heard this girl named Mary just gave birth and she's never had sex
Ugh, she's missed out on all the good parts
Whatever, the first time's always awkward, but look at the baby shower registry! I got her myrrh. I had to look it up
I got her gold?
Gold?!
Gold?! Girl, all I have is this Frankincense that I'm regifting

[Pre-Chorus: All]
We three queens of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star

[Chorus: All]
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to thy Perfect Light

[Verse 1: Peppermint]
Born a Queen on Bethlehem's plain
Gold I bring to crown Her again
Queen forever, ceasing never
Over us all to reign
[Chorus: Peppermint]
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

[Verse 2: Alaska Thunderfuck]
Frankincense to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Prayer and praising, all men raising
Worship Him, God on hiiiii

[Chorus: Alaska Thunderfuck]
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

[Verse 3: Manila Luzon]
Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

[Chorus: Manila Luzon]
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
[Bridge: All]
Glorious now behold Her/Him arise
Queen and God and Sacrifice
Alleluia, Alleluia
Sound through the Earth and Skies

[Chorus: All]
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light