[Intro: Callum Adams]
I don't think you know who you're dealing with here. I'm not the kind of person you wanna be messing with. I don't like cats; I don't think kittens and puppy dogs are cute. In fact, I think all cats are dickheads if I'm honest with you. When I see them in my garden, I'm not cooing over them, I run out there and - ahh - scare them away

[Verse 1]
Oh, hi! Sorry to keep you waiting
But unleashing my rhymes upon you is something I’ve heavily been debating
I’ve wanted to hold myself back, but a moment ago I said “Frick it”
I won’t go overboard just yet though, so I hope you’ll still be able to deal with it
You probably thought I was scared to reply, you probably thought I was a chicken
But c’mon Chazer, that’s not like me, this shit ain’t finger-licking
But I’ve got the recipe for success
Here are four ways for you to suck less
Tuck your shirt in
Listen in class
Pull up your fricking trousers
And finally mate, get your parents together
They live in different flipping houses
C’mon man, you shouldn’t have sent for me
I mean really Chazer, there’s no way you can step to me
‘Cause I’d be able to fuck you up quicker
Than Muhammad Ali would if you called him a ni-
Woah, wait, I can’t say that
But I can say one thing - you’re plain crap
Aye aye cap, you think you can rap?
I’ve heard better disses from Take That!
[Interlude: Callum Adams]
Look at how tall I am - six foot five! Look at me I'm like a beast! You don't want to mocking me, I tell you. Y'know. when I eat peanut M&M's, I crush each one in my fingers, so I'm strong. Y'know what I mean? You need to stop this stupidity. No one beats me

[Verse 2]
Woah woah now, look who’s returned
Stay away from me, kid, or you will get burned
My raps are as excellent as Mr. Burns
Let’s play Countdown - it’s my turn
I’ll take a vowel and two consonants
Actually, fuck it, three won’t hurt
I’ve got an E, an R, an N, and a D for dirt
Put them together, and what’s the word
It perfectly describes you - you’re a cheap little nerd (little nerd)
Well, maybe not perfectly
I could’ve been harsher, but I didn’t want it to hurt, you see
You call yourself a thug, but motherfricker I’m Hercules
I’m not even trying, but could still bury you on a verse with ease
But for a while longer though, I’ll keep acting mercifully
Certainly, none of your disses could bring the hurt to me
All they did was give me a chuckle
And now you’re caught up in a big kerfuffle
You couldn’t get laid if you owned a bruffle
Shit, oh-oh, I mean a brothel
You and your dad live inside a hostel
Careful sonny-boy, I might get hostile
It’s the end of the verse so I’ll see you in a while
But you ain’t no gosh darn crocodile
[Beat Switch]

[Verse 3]
Motherfricker, you're the worst rapper since Drake
Your track on me was your biggest mistake
And you're just fake, you remind me of a snake
You're not on a guest list
My worst rap is better than your best shit
You'll never be one of the greats
And soon you'll meet your fate
You think I'm your mate
Well I'm not 'cause you're a state
You stupid little fuck!
You couldn't get bread, even if you were a duck
I'm a harsh guy that'll break your mum's heart twice
I'll stab you with a dart
I'm a fucking psychopath
You're a fan of a certain Danny
Well I'm a fan of your dad's fanny
Sometimes I'll call you Russell, yo
You look like the fricking Gruffalo
You could never get to me
I'm chilling here with Rebbeca Marie
Your favourite is the vice president of Bill Clinton
You've got the vocab of a certain Maggie Simpson
You see, you're gonna be limping
I'm hunch and I'll take your mother out to lunch
Mayday! Mayday!
Paid everyday, so every day is payday
Well, y'know, you sure are a strange, freaky little fellow
You know I'm the guy, so there is no need to lie
I'm your fricking commander
You're a chicken, you love Colonel Sanders
It's weird, Pankhurst
You need to take a bath first
You haven't got a home, that's why you're always alone
I don't give a fuck, and you'll never feel loved
I'm that that hurts, now I'll have my dessert
Oh yeah, and here are a list of things that are wrong with you:
You're a twat
You're a bit fat
You don't have a hat
And soon you'll live inside a flat
Where the only guests will be your cats
Let's see, you like Tyler, The Creator?
Well I'm gonna make you meet your maker
Yonkers? More like Chazer is bonkers!
You'll never be the next Houdini
Sorry if I'm being a meanie
I treat this as a game
But not like Fortnite, because that shit is lame
You'll never insult me
When your mum gets horny, she just consults me
I heard you like a girl from Geordie, like the shore
Well, I bet that she's just a whore
You sleep in the kitchen when your dad is fricking
I'm very stylish and sleek, but I'm not even at my peak
You're a bit of a retard, you've got no personal regard
My raps - you cannot defy
You'll die if you do, so just don't even try
[Outro]
Oh, and I'm just playing, Chazer Wazer
You know I love you