[Intro]
"Thanks for watching. If you like that video, click the subscribe button, and if you didn't like it, you hurt my feelings"
"Now I can do whatever I want!"
"I can't believe it's happening"

[Verse 1]
Well, hello!
It's been a while since I've uploaded a show
Gotta flow back into the mojo
Schedule's slow, but motherfucker I'm a pro, yo
I'm not really in the know though
Been out of the zone like a no-go
Mood’s been flowing to and fro like a yo-yo
I guess i didn't really care about the news or the views because I'm so over
Sprawling algorithmic shit on the walls
Gossip in the halls, “Did you hear about Jake Paul?”
Eight ball, sunk, corner pocket no damn call
Eight part, "What?! OMG I'm nervous, lol"

[Verse 2]
Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon
Gimme simple lacks of talent
Put celebs at a desk, write a check
Up next!
Rinse, repeat
Split it into bits and wait
T'ill it's released
At number one on the trending page
Wanna see Radcliffe look at 10 year old memes?
Isn't this the saddest thing you've seen on TV?
I thought the internet might've finally set us free
But now it's obvious the apple ain’t far from the tree
[Verse 3]
I mean
I'd probably give a pass to Conan
A big proponent of independent showmen
Late Night Serotonin
Does the name mean anything? Rogers, Olan
But most of these late night guys are roaches
Posts encroaching like a diagnosis
This site's atrocious
It ain't done till the fat one drops the hostess

[Verse 4]
But hold it!
What is up?
The alt-right's coming for your kids, cover up!
And did you guys ever happen see
This study released by Data Society
That puts a direct line from Spencer to me?
Well, dang we collabbed?
Where? In your sad, wet dream?
Beccalew, I’ll remember you
Send me off to fight your foo
You’re the pretender to whom
I won’t have to surrender to

[Chorus]
I’ve been lazy, I know I’ve been lazy
But all the news lately is just irritating
So why doesn’t everybody loosen up
Loosen up
Loosen up
I’ve been lazy, I know I’ve been lazy
But all the news lately doesn’t even really phase me
So hopefully everybody loosens up
Loosens up
Loosens up
[Verse 5]
Maybe I’ll make drama vids
So it hurts even worse when the karma hits
“Baby, I’m anonymous! I’m immune to the pain
I’m very tolerant of literally any opinion that isn’t moderate.”
People call me right wing, what a pipe dream
Just because I think comedy is a nice thing?
And if I veer to the left even slightly
“Come fight me on my nine hour livestream!”
You’re a this, you’re a that, you’re a what
You’re sexist bigot, or a soyboy cuck

[Verse 6]
Hold it!
What is up?
The SJWs are here, motherfuck!
If I see another shitty cartoon in a tux
Ranting about Venezuelan cover-ups
Lay my face on the railway then, let the mayhem
Take charge, let the train skate on my brainstem
Ugh! I’m gonna need meds, send a doc
Can’t take another joke about attack helicopters
We only start mobs cuz we love a monster
Case dismissed, bring in the dancing lobsters

[Chorus]
I’ve been lazy, I know I’ve been lazy
But all the news lately is just irritating
So why doesn’t everybody loosen up
Loosen up
Loosen up
I’ve been lazy, I know I’ve been lazy
But all the news lately doesn’t even really phase me
So hopefully everybody loosens up
Loosens up
Loosens up
[Verse 7]
This beats getting a little repetitive
It’s should’ve been edited down, cuz right now it’s a sedative
“Ugh, all you do is rant about feminists.”
Negative, Ghost Rider, get yourself off of the premises
I’m the Top Ray Gun, credited with highly edited
Masterworks, thought not particularly relevant
If you’re seekin’ a Puerto Rican iDubbbz impressionist
Swimming through YouTube algorithm with elegance
For the hell of it
But I’m not a rapper, so I’m a bit out my element
Everybody wants politics
But everybody takes it so serious
And I really don’t get what the problem is
With just having a little bit of fun with it

[Outro]
So, to everybody listenin’
Isn’t it fun knowin’ we’re stuck in a loop of infinite dumb
Nonsense, so sweet, like a cinnamon bun
"Um, we're quite in a predicament, hun!"
And if this rant's not what you wanted here in a musical
Be right back, I'll rewrite this trash into something usable

[Chorus]
I’ve been lazy, I know I’ve been lazy
But all the news lately is just irritating
So why doesn’t everybody loosen up
Loosen up
Loosen up
I’ve been lazy, I know I’ve been lazy
But all the news lately doesn’t even really phase me
So hopefully everybody loosens up
Loosens up
Loosens up