Why wouldn't Crosby give up hope?
Why does Harold call Kumar when he scores dope?
And why does a prisoner drop the soap?
'Cause no one wants to do it alone!

Can't imagine Cinderella without the ball
Or the battling burdens without a brawl
Can't think about Botox without you all
'Cause no one wants to do it alone

You can't take Julia Child from her pie
Or take James Cameron from his CGI
You have to share billing, you have to share fame
At least there's someone to share the blame

But this is why Ginger lovеd her Fred
It's why Warren Bеatty stayed in bed
So whether team Jacob or team Ed
You're just a Lassie missing her board
And no! No! No one wants to do it alone!

Tonight there's two hosts to split the fee
I fired my agent 'cause one's not me
Alec is on loan from NBC
And Steve's already done it on his own
So go! Go! Baldwin and Martin
The biggest pair since Dolly Parton
The show really started
And no one wants to do it alone!