[Verse]
It's been a hard year, don't need to list the reasons why
But I can sincerely say the greatest moment of my life was
When Chrissy Teigen followed me on Twitter, but I took it for granted
And posted the dumbest shit imaginable

[Pre-Chorus]
I promise to be normal, I swear I'm not deranged
I'm asking to be cordial, I'm telling you I've changed

[Chorus]
Chrissy Teigen, please, you've got me on my hands and knees
I'm begging you to follow me again
Back when life was sweet. remember I made that funny tweet
I promise I can make you laugh again

With classics like "I Am the Irishman", It's the content you crave
(I am the Irishman) I won't take my shirt off, I swear I'll behave
(I am the Irishman) I'll post the Irishman theme song every day!
(I am the Irishman) Chrissy Teigen, what's the reason you unfollowed my page?
(I am the Irishman) Chrissy Teigen, I can't sleep until you follow my page
(I am the Irishman) Woah!

[Spoken]
Hi Chrissy, (I am the Irishman) I just wanted to say I'll always cherish the time when you followed my (I am the Irishman) page, and uh, if you choose not to follow me back, I forgive you and, uh, wish you the best.​