[Round 1: Aftershock]
So Gully hit my jack…
That’s Canadian for “He sent me a text”
“It’s Blackout, we givin’ you vets
Are you messin’ wit’ Ness?”
I said, “Nah, gimme a bottom-tier douche that’s shit wit’ his pen”
“Oh, you mean like Laugh N’ Stalk?”
“Hahahaha, no. I’ll just settle for…uh, JeFF”
So here we are! In Toronto!
Wit’ the vets and fans
You get your chance to finally battle…Esem’s dad
Does that seem about right?
Is that what this peon writes?
If that’s the best you got, this gon’ be a real long night
I said, you boys wit’ Wird of Pley!
This’ll prob’ly end the same
I mean, I damn near retired Pley, had homie quit the game
I should grip a blade, split his frame
Hockey mask to fit my face
At this rate, I’m just terrorising camps like it’s Crystal Lake!
But I mean, Wird cool, Foreman cool, Fresco dirty
The rest of y’all ‘bout as fresh as an Exco jersey
See, it’s the name of they little crew that gets me a bit confused
You Young Republicans…
Oh, you mean a Hitler Youth splinter group
I mean, Young Republicans?
Come on, dawg, that shit sounds tacky
Y’all freestylin’ would look like a cipher at a Klan rally
Rappin’ in sheets whiter than Best Western or Sketch Menace
But racist Trump supporters? That’s normal in Jeff Sessions
You told Spook One’s wife you’d “put the dot to her forehead”
Which is funny, ‘cause you know, you looked high on a coke binge
So you’re a racist named Jeff that may dabble in OxyContin
Shit, you and Hollohan have a lot in common!
But yo, I hate rappers
Generic and safe rappers
All you subpar, gun bar, fuckin’ fill-in-the-blank rappers
Scribble Jam’s biggest fan, now you flip those bricks?
The Saurus birthed your style, now y’all sound like Fresco’s kids
He’s gon’ say some shit like…
“I got your bitch at the mall, buyin’ Fendi and Klein
She don’t bother wearin’ panties ‘cause she’s wet the whole time
She sucked me off in the dressing room, switchin’ designs…”
(*Aftershock spins counterclockwise in a circle to further mimic JeFFrey’s movements*)
“The debit card get to tappin’ more than Gregory Hines!
I said, my gun got a watch - (*chuckles*)
My watch got a gun - (*chuckles some more*)
I’d let that Cartier spray, I just ain’t rock it today
Wordplay about extended mags, a stock we’ll exchange
My money dumb and liquid, boy, that’s Bobby Boucher”
See, the shit you write? Really sloppy like Lil Yachty
Well, the shit I write commit homis like shinigamis
In fact, I don’t write
I take a fifth of sake mixed wit’ ‘sabi
Pour into a venti coffee - bleugh! - that’s an instant body
Kemosabe- AYE!
Kemosabe? I’m more like Indira Gandhi
‘Cause I’m starvin’
Not even the British Army is finna stop me!
So fuck your crew of Ricky Bobby mini-Nazis!
I just put your best friend in a box like Joey Tribbiani!
Time, cunt
[Round 1: JeFFrey]
Yo, see, I used to think Organik didn’t like me
I was like, “What has he done for me lately?”
But then he got me Aftershock…so it’s pretty much confirmed that he hates me
Well, they got him to Blackout
Now he facin’ the spins like a hangover
360s…they gon’ need a panoramic view like the roof of a Range Rover
It’s game over
The spark from the Dezzi look like I’m packin’ a flamethrower
And it’ll change his confidence real quick like a fat bitch wit’ a makeover
I’m straight soda
They keep tabs on me, you a placeholder
Organik, why you bookin’ marks for this stage?
He belongs wit’...Ape Yola
I mean, Aftershock got so much vault-worthy shit, his name could be Masterlock
So if y’all wanna see a classic drop, I’ll rag his top
Either at home, or (Homer)…on the road, I’m claimin’ this dough (D’oh!) when the maggies pop
‘Cause my guns be flaming mo’ (Moe)
Yeah, you can have a shot
I’m Marvin the Martian when the blasters cocked
These clips’ll Ruin Your Day…shouts to Laugh N’ Stalk
Aviators on, plus I pack the Glock like a classic cop
And he get lit up from behind like a traffic stop
Now why you talk violent?
You never let the gun go off or run no blocks
You a fat nerd
You collect comic books and Funko POPs
Fake tough guy
Actin’ like he move as a crook
Mean-muggin’, give him that usual look
Like I’m scared…
Bitch…I learned to rap in jail
Got the whole yard wound up like Fruit by the Foot
Fuck is he talkin’ ‘bout!?
But I’m off it
You remember that day your dad found out you were gay?
And sent you to that special camp in Indiana, the one right by the lake?
Well, long story short, they thought electrocution would change his habits
But that’s a dated practice
So it’s no surprise that even after Shock therapy, he remained a faggot
Plus he a fat bitch like Louie Anderson played in Baskets
Clown
[Round 2: Aftershock]
You are so fucking…American, damn
Shit, I bet you a grand you’d think July 4th lynchings be a hell of a plan
“I don’t trust no stinkin’ Moos-lams if they’re dressed in Jihads!”
And you prob’ly own clothes wit’ the Confederate flag
See, you takin’ to a sixth-string samurai, abusive with acoustics
If the watch is nice, I’ll take Jeff carats like Jeff Jarrett
Farrell chirpin’ little bars in your ear like a pet parrot?
Well, think PMD, ‘cause without Eric, you just perish (Parrish)
But who the bosses in Connecticut?
‘Cause y’all don’t got any power
If the two fused, you’d make up Jonathan Bowers
So now I’m treatin’ cliques how Negan did
I’m startin’ wit’ Mega first
I’ll have you waitin’ on the bat like Alfred Pennyworth!
So once I swing at ‘em, split atoms and flip Phantoms
So you will vanish like Pac-Man wit’ a pill habit
A ticking time bomb in your whip gets implanted
That means I put some SHIT in his ride like Biff Tannen!
But yo, but you on Blackout? Wait a sec…
With a loss to Lil G? Is this makin’ sense?
Like, another L and he’s World Dom’s main event?
I mean, you surrounded by beasts?
I agree, but it’s different, fam’
Your fans are sheep, your dogs are bitches, you a sacrificial lamb!
See, you have OK battles, but as the chosen winners, close to never
Foreman’s dinner
Even as a storyteller, Krome was better
He’s charismatic, but his bars reaches and mostly filler
And bar for bar, got X’d out by a frog like Chrono Trigger!
I got joints wit’ more views than all your lame shit combined
AKA you are a monumental waste of my time
But vets are scared to take an L, so up-and-comers get ducked
Check my track record! I ain’t scared of none of you fucks!
They say “Actions speak louder than words”?
Well, then I’m used to war
I took Flex at the height of his buzz, now I’m takin’ you at yours
In the hopes that one day, I can stop gettin’ the runaround
Maybe get one opponent that I somewhat give a fuck about!
But they say you earned a title shot from all your GZ victories
Your joints are promo - you don’t actually have GZ victories
And that title don’t mean shit ever since DD’s history
So if you wanna make it a title match…
(*Aftershock pulls out the Ground Zero title chain from underneath his sweatshirt*)
Uh-oh…I brought the REAL ONE WITH ME!
WHOA!
(*to Gully and Bishop Brigante*) Kinda fucked that up
(*chuckles*)
Time, cunt!

[Round 2: JeFFrey]
Aight, yo…
Man, I said, you couldn’t catch a buzz wit’ chopsticks and Miyagi’s help
But goddamnit, you look like you could really stock a shelf
And it’s kind of- (*chuckles*)
It’s kind of ironic you’re a big ball of gas, but no one thinks you’re a star
You look like you could open up a McDonald’s…with all the loose french fries in your car
You sweaty mess

[E. Farrell]
He does!

[JeFFrey]
He’s always flanneled up-
Flanneled out, wearin’ the same boring clothes
Lookin’ like he packed a picnic for five, ate it all, and wore it home
Fuckin’ platypus
I took your bitch shoppin’ on some Petco shit
Then had her at the crib throwin’ it back like a retro mix
No lie - I ain’t even touch that bitch, and she was ready to cum
Standing Rock…hard, she said yes to the pipe like President Trump
I been dickin’ her down on the side
It’s why y’all don’t fight as much
Beat the brakes off the pussy…she needs the Midas touch
I was hittin’ that box harder than a Tyson punch
And had her screamin’ out my name like Michael Buff’
Yeah…
Meat dangle like a bu- (*chuckles*)
Meat danglin’ like a butcher’s fridge
She was sayin’ I was off the hook
Ain’t the romantic type, but I was lookin’ like Fabio off the book
You whale-dick…
I thought Chedda had skinny arms, but you really take the cake
Well, me? I’m in the ring with pythons like Jake the Snake
Yeah, I’m cut like Planned Parenthood
Shredded like top-secret docs
Peep the Glock
It ain’t dinner wit’ your bitch’s fam’ when you meetin’ pops
‘Cause I’ll run up in your crib like, “This a stick-up, faggot. Where the bundles at?”
And then we could get it shakin’ wit’ the hands like a Rumble Pak
I pull out the pistol and he stay in his lane like he runnin’ track
It be like proud parents at a tee-ball game…I’m makin’ a couple clap
He survive, I double-back
Split his spine in half, plan to suffer
Set his house on fire and your flannel get cooked like a Spanish custard
Now your mama at the wake cryin’
Prayin’ that After life come back to life like Judgement Day
But I’m like, “I hate to break it to you. He’s in Hell now. Your son was gay.”
Time

[Round 3: Aftershock]
Let’s talk about Random, yeah?

[E. Farrell]
Pause!

[Aftershock]
And your little creepy crusade
For months, sayin’ wild shit you’d never speak to his face
You’re searchin’ his photos, makin’ memes your little cheerleaders praise
Remember, fans: battle rappers are fuckin’ weirdos these days
You went on Facebook Live for an hour talkin’ ‘bout “He’s a faggot”

[JeFFrey]
Yes

[Aftershock]
You went on Facebook Live for an hour and he’s the faggot…

[JeFFrey]
(*nods and shrugs his shoulders*)
He still is

[Aftershock]
If you ask him the reason for the endeavour?
“Well, it’s ‘cause Random says he’s better than everyone else in GZ!”
Oh, so he’s like every rapper ever
I mean, you seem obsessed to the point this shit’s controlling your actions
It’s like Farrell’s dick in your mouth: that’s just an involuntary spasm

[E. Farrell]
Pause!

[Aftershock]
Your mom will call you on your birthday ‘cause she sent you a package
You’ll be like, “Mom, thanks for the tube socks! R-Random’s a faggot (*click*)”
I mean, shit, you told Caustic you’d box him, then you called Knamelis a racist?
See, outside, he ain’t repeatin’ those statements
Got a habit of bumpin’ his gums and wanna front like he’s tough!
I just hope one of them doesn’t punch you, but the other one does
I digress
You got Goodz in iBattle in June - is this correct?
No diss to Lexx, but y’all haven’t learned this lesson yet?
You pay a big name some money and get attention, yes
And with your friend’s Nexus 10, you’ll film your next event
You’re gonna prep your best and represent
Second-guess your references
He’ll coordinate his outfit: yellow vest, Ecko sweats
I hope Goodz is still writing at the venue, JeFF
While you’re doing that shit for free or getting less than his 10 percent
I mean, do you know what he’s gettin’ paid? Must be expecting less
Any effort he gives you, his fans are expecting less
I ain’t tryna tell Nikiya how to spend his bread
Whatever you’re hoping this investment gets, start expecting less
So maybe you’re just hopin’ that you two become the best of friends
You pre-plan how you’ll greet him like some desperate wretch
You’ll be like…”Oh, Goodz! What up!? It’s me, MC JeFF!
Mind if we take a quick selfie? BAM! I just wanna text my friends.
What are you doin’ after the battle? Wanna get some meth!?
I know this nightclub called ‘The Treasure Chest’ - they play a mean techno set
We’ll dance ‘til we’re a sweaty mess!
I hope this night never ends!”
And Goodz will be like…”Hey, Jim, where the hell’s my check?”
You wanna know what’s pathetic, JeFF?
I got three more battles and ten times your views, and you don’t get this yet
See, up-and-comers want exposure, they pay expensive vets
It’s not who you battle, it’s WHERE you battle that has the best effect!
So thank you to the fans! I hope we put on a show though
You’re welcome for the L and the promo, Frodo
Fuck outta here

[Round 3: JeFFrey]
I said…
Man, I said, I can’t tell if you Arab or Mexican
Either way, you’re gettin’ screened like a Marvel flick
In my country, your whole family banned (band)...like the Partridge clique
And I heard your father edges hedges and edens
And your mother taught you the Lemon Pledge of Allegiance
Well, y’all the reason I love all my President’s speeches
‘Cause even Canadian battle rap ain’t safe from you Mexican leeches
And I heard your ille- (*chuckles*)
I heard your illegal hot Latina cousin moved to Florida…nice!
I live in Tampa now
I’m thinkin’ ‘bout reportin’ her…I.C.E!
Yeah, it’s Immigration
But I’m off it, and I don’t care if you like me
Either way, I still got Shocks under the kick like the Vince Carter Nikes
I will knock you the fuck out, then shoot you…that’s a promise
What I’m sayin’ is after the punch, the K kickin’ like…”That was gah-bage!”
I heard they’re startin’ to call me “Mr. Blackout”
I was ripped off the cover of a Tiger Beat
I brought so many of y’all Canadians the business, I think I deserve a finder’s fee
And good luck findin’ your feet, fat boy
Better luck findin’ a groupie
Peep him, I got him leakin’
The young boy fly and I’m groovy
I just hopped off a Lear jet, and every pussy I’m near wet
The boul (Bull) got dimes like Rajon Rondo…pimp
When you hop in the convo…with a bitch, you get on your PNut shit and promise that you’ll cop her a condo…
Simp
Now he act like a bitch and feel like he testin’ me
But just like a bitch yappin’, I don’t hear when you next to me
I like alcohol and guns, I got a beer and a TEC wit’ me
You really facin’ the American culture, Shock, like Syrian refugees
But don’t get gassed up
‘Cause you stay at the bottom of flyers and you mad gay
Well, I’m next up, and I won’t have it that way!
At World Dom, I need to talk to…Aspire