[Round 1: HFK]
Sketch is a pedophile
He loves horror movies, especially Friday the 13th
So he made his own pornographic version of it and called it 'Friday with Thirteens'
Bro, with that face, you're definitely not an amazing guy in the ladies' eyes
Christ, hookers look at him and decide to stay inside
Go back to school and change their lives
And Lord must forgive me, 'cause I always say and write some wrong shit
But his mom lets me fart in her mouth and *sniff*, she takes it like a bong hit
Now why punch his head when he's already dumb
This faggot loves pee and heavy cum
And I went over to this queer, like, "Oh, you can't see me!"
And he's like, "Why, are you seeing anyone?"
I just found out he likes cum on his lip
And he likes touching a dick
'Cause FLO hit up the greasiest rub and tub in Calgary and got jerked by their ugliest bitch
Now earlier I just smoked that hazy stuff
Holy fuck, that was a crazy blunt
So either I am baked as fuck
Or [?] didn't shave her cunt
Anyways, speaking of weed, I roll the tightest cannons 'cause my dudes are on point
But he's known to be that one retard in session that always juices the joint
Anyways, I changed my Facebook status to, "Sketch Menace is a dyke bitch who might just drink a guy's piss"
Sketch came online quick and notified me and all of my friends that, "He likes this"
Wait a minute, I am not done
Now a lot of people hate on me and say what I drop's dumb
But I'd rather talk about irrelevant stuff
Like how I took a dump in your mom's cunt
Then to rap about shit that is not fun
Like how I stock funds, when I never got none
And how I shot guns, when I never shot one
So that being said, your mom fucks the shit out of me
'Cause we hold hands, slow dance, and I romance her well
'Cause I'm the Vince McMahon of this battle shit
'Cause this hoe has no chance
No chance in Hell!
[Round 2: HFK]
Now there is no way in Hell Larry the Cable Guy can make the gun blast
And that last verse was like a vacuum straight to your butt cheeks the way it sucked ass
All of your best lines are old jokes, so ain't no way you're on your way to get some fame
He probably Googled "Yo momma so fat" jokes, took the momma part out and replaced it with my name
Yo, your mom's cunt is so huge, it's ridiculous as fuck
Me and P fucked her in the pussy hole at the same time and our dicks didn't even touch
Me and Locust decided to double fist the bitch and here are the objects we found
An electric razor, a pepper shaker
A pen and paper, Cedric the Entertainer
The LA Lakers, and Brendan Frasier
And a cellphone with an SMS from Hollohan saying, "I love you. Text me later."
True story, he works construction with Hollohan, yet he thinks you're a fucking cunt
So at lunch time Sketch begs him to roll a bunch a blunts and puff some dust
But Hollohan always declines, so you always find him depressed on the fucking bus
Calling up Chedda Cheese like, "What if God was one of us?"
You don't spit fast, dick ass
And I don't wanna hear your wack face make a sound
So jealous that he hired Cheaters to spy on Hollohan when Pat Stay came to town
Look man, I fucking hate you, and I think everything you spit is bummy
Toronto is dope, big cities like Calgary why they say we're a shitty country
The only reason your lines get huge reactions there is 'cause you bring your buddies
So don't for one second think you're sticking honeys or getting money
Just 'cause some deliquent dummies drinkin' Buckley's think you're funny
And keep calling me a terrorist and I will Osama yo' momma
Throw her into a cave, turn her into my slave
And have that fucking filthy hoe raped
And make sure the whole world sees it, when I send CNN my videotape
[Round 3: HFK]
His lines always have great build ups, so we all think he's gonna kill it
He builds 'em up, he builds 'em up, builds 'em up, aaand crickets!
You thinking you're tough, Hilary Duff?
You're the wackest nerd for sure
'cause Jesus fucking Christ, even the women in my country have mustaches manlier than yours
Yo, how about this for a forced multi
You look like a Mexican Jew had sex with a dude
And everytime it's his turn to rap, Organik's like, "Ayo, hold it down, shut the fuck up. Especially you!"
Calgary's definitely not the place to go if you wanna get inside of a blonde hoe
'Cause he's like, "HFK, you should come to Calgary, yo. We could like, we could like.. drive to Toronto."
The other night me and Sketch were about have an orgy with fifty sloos
With the tightest cunts and biggest boobs
I was looking around like, "Wow." And he was like, "Yeah. Your dick is huge."
Originality is something you need and lack
'Cause you bit my style and that's weak and wack
So you must be on E and crack thinking you could be like me and rap
'Cause ain't no way this sleazy rat could top my irrelevant lines with that cheesy crap
You're not me, you're trash
You wear a greasy hat
I claim my cap
You barely make people laugh
And just to throw it in, you even fucking suck at being fat
"You should punch yourself in the face sometimes
For saying those lame punchlines
And why would I be scared of a schmuck who's got the voice of a gay drunk guy"
Now you could say me rhymes are trashy and weak
And that I got the wackest of schemes
But one thing I want you to actually see
That if you were a real rapper, then you would be stacking some cheese
And have millions of fans underneath
Instead of flying all the way from Calgary just to battle a fake rapper like me