[Verse 1]
I've always wanted to fight bad guys
In a tight red spandex suit
In fact, I think those were my first words
I wanna be bitten by a spider and shoot webs from my hands

[Chorus]
I wanna be swinging from a web
I wanna be climbing up the walls
I want everyone to know who I am
'Cuz fighting crime can take some balls
I wanna see the city skyline from a web
I wanna be Spider-Man

[Post-Chorus]
Oh no...
Doctor Connors' class...
I got so caught up in what I was doing that I forgot all about it...
He's gonna kill me...

[Verse 2]
I wanna run into Bruce Campbell everywhere I go
I wanna strut down the street with a sexy emo haircut
I want my redhead girlfriend to always wear shirts where you see her nipples

[Chorus]
I wanna be swinging from a web
I wanna be climbing up the walls
I want everyone to know who I am
'Cuz fighting crime can take some balls
I wanna see the city skyline from a web
I wanna be Spider-Man
[Verse 3]
I want my Uncle Ben to get shot
And be inspired by some inspirational quote from him
Oh yeah, and I also wanna deal with the powers of New York City and poverty
'Cuz without the suit I'm just a nobody
And I won't have any money 'cuz I suck!
(Oh look, we're getting evicted!)

[Chorus]
I wanna be swinging from a web
I wanna be climbing up the walls
I want everyone to know who I am
'Cuz fighting crime can take some balls
I wanna see the city skyline from a web
I wanna be Spider-Man