I’m a stoner who don’t wanna be

But I need that smoke

Either that or a lobotomy

Before I overload

Like a computer with a virus

Always fucked up and my thoughts are violent

Cause I’ve got more issues than I could write but

Whoa whoa whoa

Retract that shit, I’m doing just fine

Hear the flow switch up

Like I’m more sicker

Than all you wack ass, trash, overgrown hipsters

With your nappy ass hair and your avocado toast


“Wait, I actually like avocados”

“Yeah me too”



What you know about them fajita tacos man

Them senoritas man

After 6 shots of tequila

That “ay dios mio” maaan

You don’t know shit

But you can come and lick the tip

Of my dick

Till it spits up

Something thick on your lips
And I won’t mind, no not one bit

And it’s only gay to give not to get

So I’ll still fuck your bitch regardless



“Bitch? That’s kind of fucked up isn’t it?”

“C’mon man”

“I dunno”



Catch me nibbling on some titties

Like Chewbacca’s hairy nippies

Wait oh no I’m just kidding

That shit’s gross man

I’m just tripping, ay


“Bro, you gotta slap the pussy, man. They love that shit. Not a hard slap, just a little light tap. Tender, but rough. Like Obama’s hands.”

“What?”

“Whatever dude”

“I’m confused”



Don’t even get me started on that Cheeto faced bitch

I’ll finger fuck him

Tell him I love him, and never call him again

Fart on his pillow, hop out the window, that conjunctivitis

Rub his toothbrush on my gooch bruh

Then I’ll hawk up some phlegm

Spit it on his toupee, let it sit for a day

Maybe shit in a vase, and then I’ll pray

That somedays things get better for the U.S. of A



Wanna marry me a fine Latina

Maybe someone named Sabrina

And I’ll eat her butt while we watch reruns

Of the Fresh Prince and the one with Screech uhhhhh

Saved by the bell

Saved by the will to be better than all of this

I’m saving myself

Cause ain’t no one gonna do it for me

And I know ain’t ain’t a word

But I don’t really care, skrt skrt

Fuck you heard, big bird bird bird is the word

For your face

But the bird is the worst thing you can dish out for me?

That’s lame

Better think of something better to say

Cause I can think of a million different ways to say I’m craaaaaazzyyyy

Insane in the membrane

Listening to fucking Coldplay, ay



“Wait, who sings that song again?”

“I don’t think that’s right”



Looking like dead Steve Jobs

Wearing some Reebok’s

Eating out an Ewok’s

Furry little gobstopper

While he walks all over darth maul’s mom’s mourning fucking face

Slap her with an intestine

Tell her it was destined to be this way

Ain’t nothing to do but ride the wave



“Hey why the fuck can’t we teleport yet!?”

“Shhh! Jesus.”

“Shut the fuck up, man”

“Alright! Fuck...”