[Verse 1]
So you think you're bad with your rap
Well, I'll tell ya, pilgrim, I started the crap
When you were in diapers and wetting the sheets
I was at the Ponderosa rapping to the beat

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 2]
Sure, I rustled some cattle and tended the sheep
But my main concern was rapping to the beat
I don't bother nobody; I'm a real nice guy, kinda
Laid back like a dead fly

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 3]
I'm talkin' here and now
Later for the cattle and rustlin' the cow
If I had a chance to do a repeat
You can bet your sweet dippy I'd be rappin' to the beat
[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 4]
Que pasa amigos?
Nada pasa, I see
Two hundred punks, well, what ya gonna do?
I got two six shooters that'll see me through
That's twelve dead
And a hundred-and-eighty-eight pallbearers

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Bridge 1]
What I do on your grave won't pass for flowers either

[Verse 5]
Now Kurtis Blow, Run-D.M.C
You haven't heard a rap til ya heard it from me
I'm the baddest rapper in history
And there'll be no more after me

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
[Verse 6]
Meanwhile, back at the ranch
Santa Barbara, that is
Swimmin' pools and movie stars
Well, the first thing ya know, ol' Ron's the President
The kinfolk said, "Ron, move away from there"
Said, "In The White House is where you wanna be"
So he loaded up the Lincoln, and he moved to D.C
Washington, that is
Politicians taking a sip
Foreign dignitaries taking a trip
High tax and plenty Cadillacs

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 7]
Now ya see me in my movies, doin' my thing
But deep in my heart, I've wanted to sing
"Way down upon
The Swanee River
Far
Far away
Titwillow, titwillow
Titwillow"
I don't think that's your style
But I'll tell ya, pilgrim, I'm versatile
Aretha Franklin, Aretha Franklin
Aretha Franklin, let me rock ya, let me rock Aretha Franklin
Let me rock Aretha Franklin, that's all I wanna do
Aretha Franklin
[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 8]
Oh, I'm feelin' the groove now, pilgrim
Party over here
Party over there
There's nothin' to it, the way we do it
Woop, woop
East coast
West coast
Texas
Every time I put on pants
I tell ya pilgrim I wanna dance
I put a quarter in the juke'
Then I commence to doin' the Duke

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 9]
It's pretty easy, as you can see
Just move your arms kinda freely
Do a pause, and take a step
And just make sure the beat is kept

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 10]
I was at the Ponderosa rapping to the beat
Tryin' to cool off from the desert heat
I discovered something really neat
The Duke has moves with his feet

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha

[Verse 11]
I won plenty of ladies with my charms
But they like me the most for the moves of my arms
Woah
Woah
I'm gonna rap in the East
Gonna rap in the West
I'll show ya, pilgrim, who's the best
Nothin' to it, the way we do it
Skiddely-be-bop, we-bop, Scooby-Doo
Guess what, America? We love you

[Refrain]
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, everybody
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Duh-ha, duh-ha
Duh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha