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Tom Jones
An Episode

[HENRY, spoken]
We'll see to your education

[MORTIMER, spoken]
We know all the ropes!

[HENRY, spoken]
And the ropes to skip as well!

[MORTIMER, spoken]
'Eathen idols!

[HENRY, spoken]
Whirling girlies!

[MORTIMER, spoken]
Tipsy gypsies!

[HENRY, spoken]
Fantastic beauty!
Just waiting to be—

[MORTIMER makes a zipper sound.]

Unzipped!
[MATT, spoken]
But I—

[HENRY & MORTIMER clap their hands over MATT's mouth.]

[HENRY, spoken]
Don’t bother to thank us!

[Calls out to the PIANIST.]

Maestra!

[HENRY & MORTIMER up-end MATT and carry him out as they sing.]

[HENRY & MORTIMER]
Beyond that road’s an episode—
An episode—
An episode
Beyond that road's an episode
Just waiting to be unzipped!

[MORTIMER, spoken]
Hip! Hip!

[HENRY & MORTIMER]
Beyond that road's an episode—
An episode—
An episode
Beyond that road's an episode
[HENRY, spoken]
Look out, you nearly tripped!

[MORTIMER, spoken]
I know!

[Mocking MATT and EL GALLO's earlier song.]

[HENRY & MORTIMER]
I can see it!
Shining somewherе!
Somewhere!
Somеwhere!

[HENRY, spoken]
Well, that was good, wasn't it?
It's not my key, you know, but I do the best I can

[MORTIMER, spoken]
Oh, you sounded just great, Henry
I love when you sing