[Verse 1]
Crying in the backseat of your parent's car
You said that you don’t have a curfew anymore
23 and trying to keep your life from going sour
And your mother's getting married in fall
And you know that she is happy
That things will be okay
But you wonder what'll happen Christmas Day
And I don’t know what to tell you
To make you not feel sad
So I offer my condolences to dad

[Verse 2]
Am I just a hypocrite
Or is there something wrong with it
I want my therapist to think I'm cool
I call you from the office phone to ask you to come drive me home
Okay I'm just a liar I never went

[Chorus]
But if you see me out
Know I'm the coolest fucking bitch in town
You want to drink a drink that's watered down
It'll just take you longer

[Verse 3]
Can I be responsible for things that I did years ago
I guess it could be good for just a laugh
Is it just a privileged thought
I ask you once but I forgot
I'm not the only one that's split in half
[Chorus]
But if you see me out
Know I’m the coolest fucking bitch in town
You want to drink a drink that’s watered down
It'll just take you longer

[Outro]
Coolest fucking bitch in town
Coolest fucking bitch in town
Coolest fucking bitch in town
Coolest fucking bitch in town