*chorus*
I don't know what to say i'm trapped in a stump,-
Wrapped in a slump,-enveloped by confusion 'n hatred,-
I don't know how to explain it-or say it-
All i know is i may quit-'consumed by darkness 'n i hate it,-
I feel like i'm about to go insane 'n crazy,-my mind's growin' blank 'n hazy,-
I struggle to think tryin' to'''decide a thought,-
Which words should go where i can't decide which answer'''is right or not,-
I try to think out'''side the box,-but i'm sufferin' from writer blocks,-
Fuck...
I'm'''livin' my life in trouble,-
Constantly i ask god to help me 'n grant me the strength to fight but i'm only'''given lies strife 'n struggle,-
They say it's a blessin' in disguise,-
So i stand up to take it as a lesson 'n arise-
Guessin' it's supposed to make me a better person,-
'n i try so hard to be but it seems to me like everything i do is never workin',-
So i'm always cryin' 'n whinin',-
I'm sick 'n twisted but i'm just tryin' to find an outlet to use to start tryin' unwindin',-
Sufferin' from an overwhelming pain in my chest 'n supressin'''depression pretendin',-
I'm allright tryin' to explain my feelings to express 'em 'n stress 'em but i always fail so i end up in a mess 'n repressin' just stressin' again 'n,-
I feel inferior and shy so i act like a frigh'''tened spider 'n hide,-
In a corner MY SELF ESTEEM IS DWINDLING LIKE MY CONFIDENCE LIKE A DY'''IN' FIRE INSIDE,-
...
I attempt to redeem myself but i've pretty much forsaken my ambitions and only feel an over'''whelmin' thrivin' desire to cry,-
Always depressed i have no motivation or influence that would encourage me to ex'''cel 'n strive 'n aspire to try,-
...
I want help but noone besides me understands my feelings so i keep tryin' like an'''ill possessed'''denyin' liar to lie-
But i'm flustered and i lack luster so i look at my life but i only'''feel depressed'''''n i'm inspired to die,-
The truth hurts too much and life's too painful so i pop some painkillers 'n try to deny-
The facts wonderin' if this is god's response to my actions while i pray to him for a nicer reply,-
...
But i've never seen my dad so i wonder does my father hate me?-
I need help i don't need anyone to tell me why i've been feelin' this way lately,-
But i've been listenin' to eminem recently and it's been increasingly affecting my self esteem a lot still 'n greatly,-
Makes me wanna write rhymes like him that vividly express how i've been feelin' lately,-
Even if children hate me,-real insanely,-i'm ill 'n crazy,-
I have the potential to rap but i've been feelin' lazy,-
I lack the motivation and the will 'n maybe,-
I do not de'''serve it,-sometimes i wonder if takin' a new shot is'''worth it,-
I don't got homies to tell me "you got this your(yur)shit-/you got this don't quit/
Is amazing don't quit" i just look up to eminem in envy like i'''even bought his first hit,-
I listen to his shit and think this is the most'''deep 'n hottest verse spit,-
And here i am i just'''freakin' brought this worse shit,-
I can't even compare to him even though i'''got this verse spit,-
My head tells me to conceal the hatred though my heart says do'''not reserve it,-
But i don't know how to word it,-
I listened to his music and lost all confidence as soon as i heard it,-
I think i might for sure quit-as i think about him to myself "you're sick-i can't measure up to your(yur)wit-you're perfect"-
Plus i'm never asserted,-i don't belong in this game i have no permit,-
So much for a diverse first hit,-this is the worse verse spit,-
I'm contemplatin' suicide so don't be suprised if you find me with my wrists in my hearse slit,-
'cause since the beginning of this song my suicidal urges'''bec'''ame much stronger,-
'n i really can't endure this'''sick pain much longer,- /endure the pain much longer - urges became much stronger/
I really want the fortune the fame 'n shit,-i wanna repay my mother for supportin' a shame 'n it,-
Means a lot helpin me get to where i'm at even if i end up in hell just scorchin' in flames 'n quit,-
Livin' but i ain't gonna lie,-i've lost almost all reason to live at this point i just wanna die,-
I cry out for help but noone listens to what'''i speak 'n try to say
I'm tired of livin' 'n i just keep sleepin''''my freakin' life away,-
I've accomplished nothin' 'n i have no reason to feel motivated noone would care if''''i even died today,-
Honestly i try to develop interests and ambitions'''but don't even have a vision,-
I can't see or imagine a better future stuck in a constant state of'''alone grievin' avolition,-
I struggle to recite these lyrics 'n i'm tired of not'''knowin' what to do,-
'cause everytime i try to express my feelings i only manage to'''choke 'n stutter too,-
All i know is i don't wanna continue to feel'''bad 'n suffer the pain,-
I've'''had enough of the strain,-...
I swear i'm'''fuckin' done 'n 'em finished,- ('em - i'm)
Though i'm trapped in a nightmarish void my dreams are in like my hopes have been'''stuck in one 'n diminished,-
...
'n i feel so hopeless,-tryin' to be the dopest,-i'm losin' focus,-
I feel like i'm about to'''go insane 'n crazy,-my mind's'''growin' blank 'n hazy,-
I struggle to think tryin' to'''decide a thought,-
Which words should go where i can't determine which answer'''is right or not,-
I try to think out'''side the box,-but i'm sufferin' from writer blocks,-
...Fuck...this is my struggle *maybe echo my struggle*
