My baby wants a white dress
And a husband to go with it
And if I’m not mistaken
I think that she’s looking at me
I guess I don’t know who else it would be

And see it’s not like I don’t want to
It’s just the stores fresh out of my suit
And there’s no other place on earth
That’s weaving vegan fleece
Into groomswear on the cheap

Well ok I might be hiding from something
It’s not like forever is promising nothing
Now is it?
And you don’t wanna sell a gently used ring
Or figure out who gets Fido which days
Now do you?

So don’t look at me like that it’s not like I’m running away
I’ve got no agenda that I’m neglecting to say
I don’t wanna keep you unwed into the grave
I just need a minute just one minute babe

She asks “what’s the hold up?
If you really think you’re gonna
What changes between now and some distant day?”
To be honest it might look like nothing
I could tart myself up falsely
And affect manhood expertly
Handsome smile, charming toast, camera flash
Wouldn’t you rather it not be an act?

So what’s the big deal if I’m frightened of something