[Spoken]
He asked if I wanted to stop by a mutual friend of ours his house, 'cause he wanted to pick up some cocaine.
He said sure he asked me if I wanted to go at PD would have been a long time since I'd seen Peter
Parked the car we went up there and he
Had six of his friends waiting for me
I remember them
Like having sex with me I don't remember
Them hurting me like physically beating
Me or anything like that
I guess after like the third or fourth
When I passed out
And when I came to they had put me in
His wife's running path in the park left
Me there
She loaded me up in her car and took me
To a hotel room one of her friends was a
Doctor and he came over and checked me
Out
She got round-the-clock nurses and
Bodyguards for me
Like three weeks later my eyes got to
Where I could see you were still out
Where I could see you were still out
Black and blue but they weren't a
Swirling shut anymore
My name is Mars that's my mother's tacky
Sense of humor and I left home when I
Was 13 because my step-brother raped me
And I didn't try and find my real father
'Cause he was gonna have me raped anyway
According to my mother so I ended up
Being on the street living in a lot of
Different places
And now I live in Boston and I worked as
A stripper
I think it is very strange that older
Men like little girls 'cause they're perverts
Is what they is I mean I like the money
But I don't like them I used to date at
Least bring in to three hundred four
Hundred dollars and for all job be
Thirty Jana and four they would be like
On it most these veterinary knows
Were charged more than you know us
Little kids do I mean I used to turn
Dates and lots and lots of times no just
About every day I be pollen day is day
And 0 it was just like I got dust in
Five times because I don't hold a said I
Don't
Okay thank you daddy coming to meet the
Bad thing
Okay now you tell me you want me to take
You want me to take the pants off or do
You want to take a nap time my daddy
Took off the pants so we could put the
Over child and the heart
Okay
Okay decade ocher tonight okay and then
We'll pretend okay now when I say we'll
Pretend we're just gonna pretend that
The dolls are doing it cuz it makes me a
Little unhappy to really do that to the
Dolls okay all right so you tell me if
That's okay okay okay and then what else
Okay does he slap her with his with his
Hand or okay this and anything else yeah
Okay
Does he slapped her with his clothes on
Should I put his clothes back on or as
He stopped her
Okay
Okay okay everyone sleeping in it okay
Okay okay
He's he's a very scary person and when I
Look at him I don't look at him for how
Do I see him I look at him for how did
He look to my son he must have been very
Scary in in the shades of the tree
Overpowering him like that
I can't imagine how how scared my son
Must have felt I only know that he felt
Very compelled to do whatever he had to
Do and when it was over with he was
Gonna try to find a way to get home
Mm-hmm the people that did find him and
We're really very fortunate that they
Found him as quick as they did and they
Responded as fast as they did because
That's what really did save his life he
Makes me sick
From when I was little and he was a
Pervert and shit
When every time I remembered that every
Time I remember what he did to me what
He took about it to me and shit I didn't
I didn't know what I was doing I didn't
Know it until you started asking me but
You wouldn't tell me Dan I told you that
He did want you to ask me if he did a
Certain thing I said yeah and then when
He went told him ever since then he's
Hated me yeah they didn't do it anymore
So I still hate it for doing it to begin
With my step-brother decided
Live-in sex partner
So I put up with it for ten months and
Then I learned
Told her I was into a lair stepson
Anymore to keep her marriage together
It's really not easy being on your own
At 13
Friends all think you're weird they
Don't understand why
Ball games cheerleader
I don't know how it started I remember
Used to climb into bed with my mother
And father I like my father you still
Describe my ass
Yeah my mother went to church he used to
Come in my room on Sundays and touch me
Fill me up and make me do things to him
More when he was in the bathroom he used
To call me in after he's done doing what
He did doing his thing he used to bribe
Me you know you should take him to the
Drugstore and buy me stuff every Sunday
Drugstores on the corner
Seemed like a pretty good deal he took
Me to the church one night and we're
Upstairs in our minister's office and he
Was sitting at the chair behind the desk
And so he calls me over
Give the Father hug so I give him a hug
And he starts to film that with
Something so I start to pull away and he
Goes what's the matter with you don't
Want to give you father a kiss anymore and
I go I don't like it um something
Building me touch a man I didn't like it
I just wanted to get away and I just
Started crying so he got really pissed
Off and started yelling I don't love
Your father so I mean so we had to leave
So he at home right and I'm crying in
Tears my father screaming out my mother
Meets us at the door what's the matter
What's the matter Joe didn't wanna go
Wrong father a hug anymore so I went to
Bed everybody was mad at me cuz I don't
Want to give my father out anymore you
Know my father abused me I felt
Like it is like it was okay like it
Happened to everybody
And when I get older I didn't I felt
Used
It was a sense I really didn't know what
Used meant I just felt like it's a word
I felt I was afraid and not my father
Never threatened to UM like kill me or
Anything like that you know he it was
Really intimidating person who is but
Just like afraid like it was such a big
Super secret I felt ashamed you know
Like the wall just gotta find out it
Just wasn't right you know what can you
It was a typical Saturday evening after
Dinner he wanted to go out and play and
There was a good two hours of light left
And it was a reasonable request mm-hmm
He left and at about 8 I started
Thinking well in my mind it's getting
Dark and so he should be starting to
Come home by 9 o'clock he hadn't come
Home and I started phoning the various
Friends and discovered that he wasn't at
Any of those places I started looking
For him thinking the whole time that as
Soon as I get home he bet he'll be there
And I'm just gonna really give it to him
Mm-hmm but of course he wasn't there
When I got home and then the panic
Starts to escalate because you start
Running out of alternatives although you
Keep thinking there must be something
Else happening that I just not thinking
Of is he at Josh's house at this house
Yeah he must have gone indoors and he's
Watching TV and he doesn't even realize
It's dark there's there's probably some
Reasonable explanation and I'll hear it
When he gets home and then after that
He'll he'll have to deal with the
Punishment by 10 o'clock after I'd
Cruised the neighborhood to two times
Looking for him I had to break down and
Phone the police and that in itself is a
Major step when you have to admit that
Things have gotten beyond your control
Mm-hmm the police were very sympathetic
And I was really glad about that because
I kind of expected more ramifications
And more questions from them than just
How long he's because he hadn't been
Gone for how long for very long he was
Due back by dark which technically would
Have been nine o'clock and so he'd only
Been really missing an hour but they
Told me to stay by the phone and stay
Home that someone would either phone me
Or come by
In an hour the police officer and the
Police staff chaplain came to my house
The chaplain by himself is a major
Statement I mean not too many times to
Those people come to your house
I listened as calmly as I could as they
Informed me that they were pretty sure
They had my boy that he was alive but
That he had been sexually assaulted and
He was in the hospital and I needed to
Go down there I don't remember too much
More beyond that my my whole system
Started shutting down all I can think of
Was he's alive there's something I need
To do and so I got my shoes on and I got
In the car and drove down to the
Emergency room and the staff at the
Hospital is really very very supportive
My mother had gone with me and they took
Us into a conference room and the chief
Surgeon or staff doctor dr. Coombs came
In to tell us the details then of what
Had happened there was a psychologist
There with us also in order to help us
Through this the more people that are
There the more tragic you know it's
Going to be and yet I was not at all
Prepared for what the doctor had to say
He asked what we had already been told
And I told him basically nothing you
Might as well start from the top and if
I could take back those words I would
Love to because the irony was he started
From the top he had been strangled he'd
Been stabbed and his penis had been
Severed but just not exactly castration
But it is quite a dramatic mutilation my
Real dad I've never known he could be
The guy that's really rich to iearn
Mercedes you know or he could be one of
These bums on the streets I don't know
I really want to meet him for all I know
You know he could be one of these dates
For now and I could have dated him for
All I know no child should has happened
To my child have a judge deemed their
Risk of rape to be 50% and to have
Unsupervised visits increased% that
Should not be allowed if there's a risk
Of abuse the child must be protected
Until it is known that the child will be
Safe in my case we are drowning in
Evidence you almost never in an abuse
Case have what we have which is an
Articulate child giving a consistent
Story to an expert after expert incest
Experts confirming the abuse as among
The worst they have ever seen an
Eyewitness account from an older sibling
Both girls with the vaginal scars of
Sexual penetration and the older girl
Having a founded case in the social
Service department of Virginia also I
Had more resources than any other
Protecting mother I had more evidence
And more resources if my child cannot be
Safe no child in this country can be
Safe the day that my child is safe is
The day that there is hope for other
Children she was a three and a half year
Old child who was able to tell me very
Complex sexual details and at the same
Time she was showing the what you would
Think would be the appropriate emotional
Response to that shame guilt fear
Sometimes terror anger all those things
At appropriate times and to imagine that
A three-year-old could be coached to
Carry out that level of complex behavior
Without somebody in the room you know
Helping her do that is just ludicrous
You know I don't know about other
Children Hillary could not have been
Coached to tell such a story and she was
Was a very disturbed child she couldn't
Have been maintained any any fiction she
Was
In physical and emotional pain all the
Time and was talking about what was
Making her suffer I mean when she began
To talk about the abuse she'd often just
Start to scream and she'd fall on the
Floor and just claw the air and scream
For help
I mean it's just ludicrous to think that
A child
Could be acting she obviously wasn't
You're not going away from your mother
What happens this weekend all right I
Really cannot talk about because I had
Not been able to protect her and I had
Not been able yet died but she was
Asking you to do and she was just taken
Out of our home to be sexually molested
I still can't believe that it happened