✧ @36:10 Conversation Regarding
the Song "Ex"
Gabbie: .[...] Sia is just writing all of these songs for massive artists.
Irene: That's fucking rad.
Gabbie: That's what I aspire to do is like...
Irene: Oh, you could do that for sure.
Gabbie: I have so many bops that like are just not for me.
Irene: Yeah that is such an interesting thing like. Since I'm not a musician I have no idea what that must feel like but like to have something that's so good but just like isn't you like I that's crazy.
Gabbie: Do you know my song "Ex"?
Irene: Like e-x?
Gabbie: Yeah do you member that song?
Irene: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gabbie: That song, I feel like I that song is soo undeniable a fire ass bop but it's not me.
Irene: Yeah, yeah that's true.
Gabbie: But like it's so good that I'm like, do I want to let this song go because it's undeniably a bop? But it's also like this is so random for me [Irene and Gabbie laugh] It's such a bubblegum pop sound, kind of, and like talk rap; like sing rap — I don't know. It's very cute I could hear like Little Mix or something doing it.
Irene: Oh that'd be fucking fun as shit.
Gabbie: Or like Demi too, like she could cut a really mean vote
Irene: Oh what about like Marina and the Diamonds?
Gabbie: Maybe...
Irene: I just love her.
Gabbie: Yeah me too. I think she's fucking incredible. I've referenced her a couple of times when I was in the studio being like I love this sound, I love her.

✧ @50:35 Gabbie Hanna's ADHD
Gabbie: Okay the last thing, that I for some reason made a note to talk about because I noticed it in the last podcast. And I do do it a lot and I notice it when I'm vlogging with people a lot. And I want to talk about it because people are really mean to me about it. And I have something to say.
Irene: Whatsup?
Gabbie: So a lot of times when people talk, my eyes drift or I'm on my phone or like it looks like I'm spaced out and that I'm not paying attention. And people are like, "Oh she's rude like all she cares about is what she's saying" and stuff like that and it's truly not the case and it actually really hurts my feelings because—
Irene: Really?
Gabbie: Yeah, because like I have very, very severe ADHD and it sucks. And it's like a big part of my life where like you can tell me some shit and if I like dissociate during that moment, which happens a lot. Like if I say something and somebody responds to me they might say a word that sends my brain into a completely different direction.
Irene: Yeah.
Gabbie: Or like if I'm on my phone it's actually helping me concentrate to multitask like... If I'm trying to focus on just what you're saying, I can't focus as easily as if I'm multitasking on something. And it sucks, it's like really hard and like adult ADHD is actually pretty hard to deal with because there's a lot more to it than just having a hard time focusing or appearing like you're not focusing. It has a lot to do with like your mood—
Irene: Hm, I didn't know that.
Gabbie: —and your emotions. Yeah it's, it's actually adult ADHD is often misdiagnosed as bipolar because—
Irene: Really?
Gabbie: Yeah, because it's like as quickly as your thoughts change your emotions change. So everything in your brain is just jumping from one thing to the other. And it's gotten really, really bad lately to the point where like if I'm... I can't just sit and think and be in a moment. You know what I mean? I can't watch a TV show. I can't have a conversation with my boyfriend. I can't like make out with my boyfriend without my brain thinking about ten other things. And it's hard to connect to people. And it's why I have such a hard time building emotional connections in the first place is because is hard for me to really stay focused and connected to a human being. And then once I connect to a human being then it's like easier because I had that emotional connection. But it is hard for me to have interpersonal relationships and connections because of that. And it makes me sad when people like pointed out and just say that like I'm into myself or don't care what anybody else is saying or I'm not paying attention and I only care what I'm talking or whatever. Because it's not the case like I wouldn't have a podcast with my best friend if I only cared about what I was saying.
Irene: Yeah.
Gabbie: I would just do it by myself the way Christilia does it.
Irene: Yeah
Gabbie: But I want you here because you're entertaining and you're funny and I like talking to you. It's a way to talk to you a lot and, anyway, I just wanted to throw that out there and be nice to people.
Irene: Well I mean I've always, I've always just like— Since you've told me that it's never been a thing that I like take personally because I know that you care. Because when I see you ask questions or you know? Check-in on things and whatever like it's, it's not a thing of like you're only thinking about yourself or talking about yourself. It's just simple I mean it's exactly what you're saying I obviously can't put it better myself.
Gabbie: Oh my God, literally right now Irene. I'm looking down at the blanket and like pulling the threads apart. And it looks like I'm not paying attention to you at all but I'm listening to every word you're saying I'm just like my hands always have to be
doing something.
Irene: Yeah, I mean I like I'm sorry people say that that sucks and like I guess—
Gabbie: Everybody mean to me all the time.
Irene: I guess I could like see wh- first of all I don't know why anyone would say anything because whose place is that? But they don't know you. Like you've always told me that so it's never been a thing that I like take personally because I know that that's just...
Gabbie: Yeah, and like the people in my life who get it get it. Like Payton when we're talking it happens all the time where I just completely disassociate and I'm gone and he'll see it and, sometimes, he'll be like hey come back. And I'm like okay I'm back, I'm back. Or sometimes I'll catch myself and then I say to him like, "I'm sorry I need you to repeat everything you just said". Because like I can't help it. I can't control where my brain is going. And it's like it makes me sad like I'm gonna cry right now because it does make me sad that like I can't—
Irene: Oh, no
Gabbie: I know!
Irene: Oh, it's okay.
Gabbie: It does make me so sad that I can't like—
Irene: Is it like the fact that people think it's something else that makes you sad? Or just the fact you have to deal with it?
Gabbie: No, that's just kind of annoying it just it is hard to deal with like it sucks not being able to just be in a conversation with somebody or focused hard on something. And that's why I like, like writing music and creating so much because like my brain can do whatever it wants. And then like it's fine because then we get like a better product out of it 'cause my brain goes so many places that like I can really... I don't know I could really hone in on like creating something but it's hard to focus on outside things.
Irene: I'm soo sorry that hurts soo much.
Gabbie: It's okay, I'm sorry you can't hug me.
Irene: I am too, I feel terrible!
Gabbie: Whatever, um...
Irene: [Irene Laughs] Whatever
Gabbie: I do think I'm gonna, I do think I'm gonna start taking Adderall though.
Irene: I was gonna say like have you ever taken anything to quell it?
Gabbie: Nah, dude, I fucking hate taking medication
Irene: I-I'm familiar.
Gabbie: Yeah.
Irene: Stream and download "Medicate".
Gabbie: Yep, for sure.