[Intro: Mr. Fischoeder & Bob]
Doing nothing, Bob, is really doing something
That literally makes no sense. Maybe you could just give me the keys and...
Bob, Bob, Bob, you're not listening

[Verse 1: Mr. Fischoeder]
There are times in my life
When I've had to do something
Hiring, firing, illegal trash dumping
But any time that I have had something to do
I always wished that I could bid that something adieu

[Chorus 1: Mr. Fischoeder]
Nothing, nothing, nothing makes me happy
Doing something is what I avoid
I adore diddly-squat
It thrills me a lot
And nothing never gets me annoyed

[Verse 2: Mr. Fischoeder & Bob]
Oh, sometimes I have to do stuff, and I hate it
Likе paying off arsonists, showering and shaving
Wait, did you just say "paying off arsonists"?
No, I said, uh, playing golf with pharmacists
Huh. Where was I? Oh
[Chorus 2: Mr. Fischoeder]
Nothing, nothing, nothing makеs me happy
(Happy, happy)
Nothing brings me nothing but joy
So if you haven't tried nada
I really think you oughta
'Cause all play and no work make me a big, sexy boy
Big, old, sexy boy

[Outro: Mr. Fischoeder & Bob]
Are you starting to get it now, Bob?
Maybe. I mean, I guess you are a big, sexy boy, but...
Well, of course, I am
Yeah
Now let's go do nothing somewhere else