"Daddy"
[Intro: Fred Armisen as Tommy & H. John Benjamin as Bob]
This, uh, first song goes pretty deep. It's called "Daddy"
Um, at least it's, uh, a family song

[Verse 1: Fred Armisen as Tommy]
Daddy! You abandoned me!
Daddy! You sold drugs to me!
Punches are not hugs to me!

[Spoken: Eugene Mirman as Gene, John Roberts as Linda & H. John Benjamin as Bob]
Ah, it's no "Elderly Prostitute"
Bobby, you said you talked to him!
Um, I did. Kinda. But then he wiped our record clean!

[Verse 2: Fred Armisen as Tommy, Larry Murphy as Ted & both]
Daddy! You're my enemy!
My enemy! *sobs*
My enemy!
You are my enemy!
My enemy!

No, don't
My enemy! Oh. Oh, sorry
It's just me, just me
My enemy!
You, you, you!

The Itsy-Bitsy Stripper
[Fred Armisen as Tommy]
The Itsy-Bitsy Stripper climbed up the brassy pole
Down came her legs and wrapped around my soul

Weave your web of your sexy web
Weave your sexy web around me
Weave your web, weave your naughty web
Around my body, my beautiful body
My beautiful legs, my beautiful torso
Weave that web around me